Erin Lodes

So it’s getting to be near that time when everyone — writers included — are going to be talking about their goals or (seriously I just forgot what the word is that everyone uses to describe their goals for the New Year every time it rolls around???) whatever they’re called for the New Year.

Well I’ve been — RESOLUTIONS! That’s it! New Year’s Resolutions!

Small victory remembering a very common word, but at this point in time I’m going to take victories where I can get them.

Anyway.

I’ve been trying to figure out what my New Year’s resolutions will be and a large part of that is coming up with some writing goals. I’ve done this every year for more years than I’d care to admit. And still, I am not published. (Well I’ve had some short stories published but I have no novels published.) And the reason for that is I HAVEN’T FINISHED A NOVEL.

So that is a simple enough goal right? Finish a novel in 2018? Well some people might think so. And I’d be willing to bet most of them aren’t writers. Even just figuring out what to write for this blog post was difficult. And getting up and tearing myself away from one of my main internet distractions (dance videos on YouTube) was even more difficult.

I’m trying to figure out how to structure 2018, how to give myself deadlines and keep them. I’ve read all the blog posts and all the books and I know I should give myself achievable goals and try to stick to them but forgive myself and not torture myself when I can’t. Still working on finding the balance between forcing myself to stick to the schedule and forgiving myself. Lately there’s been a lot of forgiveness and not a lot of sticking. I am the old masking tape that makes your poster fall off the wall…

I honestly have no idea what the point of this post was. Except to voice my frustration. And get myself to the computer and my fingers on a keyboard. Because now that I’m typing it’s easier to continue… I know I’m rambling but isn’t that at least a small part of how to find your voice? Or something?

If you held me at gunpoint and asked what my resolutions were for 2018 they would probably be along the lines of finish a freaking book. (Haven’t decided if I’ll curse excessively in this blog yet… Maybe only in some posts? And give them a warning label?)

Anyway.

They would be along the lines of finishing a book. But the question remains which book, as I have the guts of two down right now. I also want to finish and get a few short stories accepted for publication in a few places. Or at least be submitting. And I want to figure out that whole Patreon thing and launch this series of funny short stories I’ve been thinking of called The Adventures of My Muse and Me. And I want to do more yoga. And pay down the guts of my student loans. And read ALL THE BOOKS. And watch all the things. And learn how to cook some new things. And keep up this blog better. And post more on Twitter rather than just scrolling through. And call my representatives and be more active in politics. And travel — even if it’s just to explore around the new city I’ve been living in since July and have hardly seen anything of. And spend more time walking and training and playing with my new puppy (did I tell you I have a puppy?). And succeeding at my new job (did I tell you I just got a new job?). And spend more time with my friends and family and all that. And I swear there’s probably some things I’m forgetting but that’s probably the bulk of it. Oh, and floss more regularly. That’s on there.

So it’s a lot. And I’m digesting it. And I’m trying to sort out priorities and mostly trying to figure out which novel to finish. Or if I should try to finish them both… But is that a reasonable goal? I’m not sure. My whole life has been turned upside down in 2017. How can I know what 2018 will look like? In any case… I’m working on it. I think resolutions for the New Year are a good thing, but what happens when I fail to keep them again? I feel the crushing weight of failure on my shoulders like the ever-growing boulder it’s becoming. That’s what. Maybe a bit dramatic but there you are.

Anyway that just happens to be how I feel about it. What do you think?