Erin Lodes

This is not some big existential blog post about what I, a human in a sea of other humans, is doing here on this planet. No. If you’re looking for that, I’m sure I’ll write about it someday, but only after I have had a lot of wine and asked my exasperated husband and friends the question so many times they are sick of me talking in circles about it.

This is much more specific. What am I doing here? Writing this? Why did I start a blog? Why do I take the time to write a blog post every week when I could be doing something else?

Like so many other decisions I question to absolute death before making, my decision to start a blog began with this exchange:

Erin 1: Everyone else is doing it, so shouldn’t I?
Erin 2: You should never do a thing because everyone else is doing it. Why are you listening to society? Figure out what value it has, figure out if you really want to do it, figure out etc., etc., etc. 

My first justification was: it will help me develop a good writing habit. I’ll have to write something every week, on a regular schedule, like with a deadline.

My second justification was: it will help me work through the very emotional process of finishing my novel and getting it published.

My third justification was: aspects of your book are very personal so you should get used to sharing personal things with strangers on the internet.

I think justifications one and two are working out alright. I’m still working up the courage to follow the third justification.

In the meantime, I am trying to follow some advice I heard from Delilah S. Dawson on Twitter. She does these good advice threads for writers and this particular one was about marketing. She talked about a lot of things, including the time and effort you should put into social media/a blog/a newsletter, etc.

The tip that really stood out to me was: “Figure out what makes you, you.” Like, figure out what you have to offer the world. And fuck, I’m back to the existential question aren’t I? Shit.

And really, I don’t know. Am I funny? Clever? Brilliant? Insightful? Eh. Maybe sometimes. I do have a really cute dog (psst follow me on Instagram). I’ve included a picture of him here just because he is freaking adorable.

Anyway. Until I figure out what makes me, me, I guess I’ll just keep talking about trying to figure shit out on here?

And honestly, if you ask people close to me—me trying to figure out what I think and feel about things is probably a large part of who I am. I ask a lot of questions.

Erin 1: Temple and Arch. Did I figure it out? Is that it? Is that what makes me, me?
Erin 2: I mean maybe, but also what if… *and spiral*

Anyway, that just happens to be how I feel about it. What do you think?